Holding onto Promise

                                                                 
The daydreamer in me can quite easily be sucked into a vortex of despair.  I need to be careful and intentional about this. As a discipline, I’ve gotten better at this over the years.  Building those muscle groups.  Drinking those protein shakes.  Taking those vitamins.  Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Despite its drawbacks, I wouldn’t trade my romantic imagination for anything. It’s central to who I am and what makes me tick. I’ve become more creative about what to do with it.  How to hone it.  Take care of it. And I’ve learned how to embrace its vastness and expansiveness. God’s shown me what to do with it, and more importantly, why He’s given it to me in the first place.  I honestly don’t know who I’d be apart from this.

So, I’m mindful that with daylight, too comes night.  And I work hard at surrendering some of the darker moments to hold true to the rays of light that will once again rise above the horizon.  And the secret, I’ll let you in on, is that when the sun says goodbye to the daytime, and the stars set in place in the sky, when I can’t see across the prairie skies as clearly as I could before, I hold tightly and firmly to the promises God gives me to stand on.

Promises like,

“Don’t get discouraged and give up, for you will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time.” ~Galatians 6:9

“The Lord will work out his plans for my life-for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.” ~Psalm 138:8

“I will never fail you.  I will never forsake you.” ~Hebrews 13:5

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.”

~1 Peter 5:7

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose.”~Romans 8:28

“But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength.  They will fly high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint.”

~Isaiah 40:31

In a world and in a time that is uncertain and forever changing.  When life’s disappointments knock us down and threaten to pull the carpet out from under us, we have a Savior who proves trustworthy.  Who knows us intimately.  Who yearns to walk with us, and yes carry us when we cannot get up.  He is our greatest encourager.  And the source of all love.  Who is unchanging and stands the test of time. Our rock and our fortress.  Our friend, and our counselor; our teacher and shepherd.  Our Immanuel.

Remember your promise to me, for it is my only hope.  Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my trouble

~Psalm 119:50

The Highway Man

It’s been quiet in the land of paper bag princesses as of late. And perhaps, it’s partly due to a new found addiction to online scrabble, or maybe it's that paper for school I’ve been polishing up. The distractions, like yours, have been endless. And I’ll save you the dog ate my homework schpiel and cut right to the chase.

2012 has come in like a lion and devoured and mangled and shook some of my loved ones to pieces.  The carnage has been bloody. The wounds so raw and fierce.  Bodies left on the side of the road on a highway that seems endless.  Barren.  Dusty. Vacant. And hot.

I came by it quite unexpectedly; the battle scene. I recognized the clothing.  In tatters; ripped and shredded; much to my horror.  And then I saw their faces.  My eyes locking to theirs. Immediately my feet hit the pavement running.  The tears in my throat already rising. A pace set in panic.  To find them. To heal them. And just to bring them home.

It kept unfolding.  The plot on the highway.  I fell to my knees to embrace one. And then another.  And then another. I knew it was too late to turn back, to erase the images. To again be slated clean.

As I wiped their brows and kissed their cheeks, the tears in my own eyes reflected, to see in the distance, the lion pacing. 

And then it was silent for a very long time. On the highway.  And in the healing. Moans and wailings over injuries came in chasms never quite allowing peace. So painful and visceral that I didn’t have the strength to pray.

But even still, He entered. I thought at first, slowly. The emergency so raw and acute, afforded no time for my eyes  to look to Him. To seek His face.  To call His name. At least I thought. Because sometimes, sometimes, the hurt is too deep, and the blood shed too ugly, to call on Beauty.  To come and be in this place.

But He still enters. And calms the storm. And feeds with fish. And sponges with water. In the dust and in the grime He got down on hands and knees, kissing wounds, wiping brows, and bandaging scars. Tenderly.  Perfectly.  Fatherly. Differently and personally; to each and everyone.  Mending, and stitching; cleaning, and comforting. And I sat and watched the highway man. On the side of the road. Love on my loved ones in 2012.

~He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds~

Psalm 147:3

Monday Musings {Jars of Clay}

It's Monday.  And on most Mondays, like you I imagine, I feel slightly more vulnerable.  Toes and heels blistered from egg shell walking.  With soul and heart ever more permeable.  More soft.  More amenable to injuries. A little less shielded. Breakable.  Fragile. Cracked.  Broken.  Much like solidified clay.  On any given Monday.

But He reminds me of a promise.  In this imperfect, gray-pallored existence of mine.  That in it, He's placed a treasure.  A treasure that belongs to Him.  That is Him.  Nestled nicely in the cracks and spaces in this jar of hardened mud.  In my jar of clay. 

And when I feel pressed and pressured from every side He speaks in,

"You will not be crushed".

When confusion and perplexity sits atop my synapses He whispers,

"You will not be in despair".

When taunts and jabs from the enemy enter in He holds tightly to both my hands and speaks,

"I will not abandon you".

For His treasure sits in this jar of clay and promises to endure with me forever;  and even on a Monday.

Know today that in you lies a treasure.  One that shines brightly, that is invaluable, that will not forsake you, that is promised to you as His child for today and a million more Mondays.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body"

~2 Corinthians 4: 7-10

The Off Season

Sometimes I do my best thinking when I run. Many times, I pray.  Pray for friends, pray for my daughter, pray for family.  Sometimes I feel God places nuggets of truth on my mind that are tucked away for later pondering, or action.  Other times, I feel Him planting seeds that nestle in the soils of my heart, waiting for me to water.  To leave in the sunshine. To nurture and fertilize.

Tonight was quiet though.  As my feet hit the pavement.  As my breath fogged my vision.  As the puddles slushed about my ankles.  And as I rounded the final curve to reach my destination, my mind drifted off to my finances of all places.  And it settled there comfortably as I looked and searched a little deeper.

 Money, for me, has not been on my list of things to do and see in this lifetime. I live a comfortable life, certainly not luxurious, but at a standard where I’m provided with what I need, without a struggle.  I’ve felt blessed in this area, if I’m to be honest.

 But, as I’ve grown and changed, and certainly, now that I have my daughter’s needs up front and center, I’ve have had to come face to face with some of my tendencies.  The not so good ones.  And discipline myself to live within my means.  And not within my plastic.

My biggest development lately, has been in the area of grocery budgeting.  I’m making friends with coupons.  I’m living out of envelopes of money allotted to separate areas in my life.  This month, we are even following a meal plan! Which, if you know this absent minded professor personally, you may just have fallen out of your chair.

It’s amazing how when you set your mind and heart on being open to God’s leadings and ways in your life how it feels as if new worlds and lands are being opened up to explore.

Which brings me to the off season and what I wanted to share with you in the first place.

I work with a lovely outspoken Jewish lady who has the heart the size of Texas in a body the size of a timbit.  She’s a surrogate mother of sorts, and often times throws pieces of advice and wisdom my way which are turning out to be helpful little things I can tuck away in my pocket and splash about with on rainy days.  Recently, she shared with me a tidbit of advice about clothes shopping of all things.  She disclosed that her extensive and beautiful wardrobe is all bought in the “off season”.  It’s a way she’s been able to afford items from cashmere to chiffon. Winter coats are bought on beach trodden days, summer dresses are purchased just after her menorah are taken down.  And I got to thinking that this is an area  that I will be mindful of implementing in my own life. This off season shopping.  This off season wisdom.

I think God’s ways work sometimes best in the off season.  During dry or seemingly valley seasons in your walk with Him, if you can rest in the knowledge that He’s preparing you for another chapter which will require some character skill He wants to hone in you now, the dark and less exciting times can feel a whole lot more bearable. During seasons of blessing and tangible growth, if you can be mindful that He still wants you to hold on and lean on Him, look to Him, and rely on His strength, that trying season around the corner, will feel a little less trying. Your lack of "debt" will bring you enhanced "savings" to draw from.

As I am learning to “buy bulk” and shop in the off season, I’m learning a little something about the beauty of discipline and preparation and how in budgeting and in life, God anoints and honors every season you're in and guides you for each season accordingly, so as to bear fruit in the next. Both in finances, and in your character.  It's big stuff, and even better than timbits.

What season has God got you in now? What does He want to develop in you in your Off Season?

 The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.

~Proverbs 21:5