In Your Corner

Exodus 33:14  And the Lord replied, “I will personally go with you…”

When I was twenty one years old I started my third year of university in another province far from home, and took up residence in the college dorm.  Somehow, I was placed in Greenville, the dormitory for first year college students, on the third floor.  It was a glorified frat house, with parties around the clock, and friendships galore.  Pranking and drinking and music greeted you at all hours of the day and night and let’s just say that studying was not high on the priority list.  Living in close quarters with a large group of strangers, was for me, an introvert by nature, a mild form of torture.   At the time, I wasn’t interested in investing in friendships and connections.  All I wanted was that piece of paper which would qualify me to step out into the real world.  I wasn’t interested in the college experience. “One of these things just doesn’t belong here” often played in my head. I didn’t belong. And it didn’t get better.

Thankfully, I had a sanctuary to go to outside of the dorm, after school hours, to connect with friends and feel a better sense of belonging.  I spent much of my time here, and would only return to Greenville when I was obligated which was often at night.  Like a stranger from another planet, as my feet walked up the three stories, my feelings of dread and anxiety rose to the beat of the techno music that was waiting for me upstairs in my “home”.  As the months went on, it got worse, as the people from the “other” planet developed friendships and alliances that further left me feeling excluded.  Cafeteria visits felt like a bad movie as popular cliques of girls surrounded me as I buried my head in a book and scoffed down my lunch.  It was one of the most isolating periods in my life and I often felt alone in my corner.

I didn’t yet know God in a personal and intimate way, but I was starting to have questions and curiosities.  I believed, but I hadn’t yet grasped how I could invite him in on a daily basis, moment by moment.  I believed a man died on a cross to save the world, and I would one day see him again, but as for how that related to the practicalities of my life, I was puzzled.  And apathetic.

But, during that college year, I began to experience a comfort and a presence as I walked down the halls of “planet dorm”, and I began to no longer feel I was walking alone.  I received reassurance that this season of my life was temporary.  I began feeling that I had someone in my corner.  It took three more years to solidify that feeling in the hallway~that the someone with me was Jesus, and that he could and is an active part of my life on a daily basis.  That together we are in the corner and when I’m out there in the world, dealing with the world, fighting for things that sometimes are contrary to the world, I can again return to my corner.  My cuts are cleaned, I receive words of encouragement, and my thirst is quenched.  He rubs my sore shoulders before the bell rings again for another round.  And I can rest in the promise that never again will I experience the feeling of glancing back to find no coach in my corner.  Round three…