A Spoonful of Sugar

I have this book that is collecting a whole lot of dust upstairs.  It sits amid my library collection in my daughter’s play room.  I’m not sure when, and for that matter, why, I picked up this book on my travels as I glance down now and read the cover page: “The Five Love Languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate”.   The bad news is the novel is receiving about as much attention as my exercise ball that sits in the same room. The good news is my golden retriever can now count on my heartfelt commitment and attunement to her love language.

But I digress…

Gary Chapman, author of the bestseller, breaks down in layman’s terms, the five key areas that essentially make a person feel loved and cherished by, not only their spouse, but by people in their life in general.  The summary is we all gravitate towards one particular love language, essentially ways that make us feel most loved.  For example, some people thrive and flourish with a physically affectionate mate, while others would shutter at the thought of a human Velcro accompanying them throughout life.  Others find contentment and peace in having things like special gifts given to them. While others are content living out of a cardboard box.  You get the picture…

The reason why I am telling you this is to let you in on a secret.  I. Love. Words.  My best friends know this about me.  How to encourage me when I am down.  How to cheer me on and pick me back up.  Like a gigantic warm fuzzy, these words of affirmation, of qualities they uniquely see in me, wrap around and squeeze me like an over zealous Ukrainian Baba.  My love language is words.  This makes buying gifts for me, very affordable and extremely economical.  It also makes my greeting card shopping for others, somewhat time consuming and excruciating.  But, back to the topic of sugar…

I think of these ways we feel loved-words for me-like spoonfuls of sugar. Like healing, soothing balm to our sometimes fragile, weary souls, Ms Poppins really did have something going on with the whole spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down thing.  For, life is a whole lot easier when we feel treasured, endeared, cared for and loved on uniquely.  The sugar {i.e. love language} buffers the sore scratchy throats of life.  It eases and melts the aches and pains of our stiff, rigid joints. “In the most delightful way”.

The thing about love is it corrects us.  Without relationship, it is impossible for us to grow, develop, and evolve.  When we love someone, and when they truly know us, down to our not so nice parts, we trust that they have our best interest in mind.  And like a spoonful of sugar, they can help facilitate the most difficult things we have to swallow.  The things we need to change in our selves.  Old patterns that are no longer serving an interest.  Old mistakes that hold us back from God’s will for our lives.

There is a technique in family therapy that the therapist refers to as the “stroke and kick” method.  Ultimately, the things that need to be changed within a client in the counseling setting, need first care, love and attention {i.e. the stroke} of the therapist before the individual is gently challenged on their difficulties {i.e. the kick}. I think God works on our hearts like this too.  He focuses first on his relationship with us.  His love and care for us.  He pursues us to ally with us.  He grows us in a place of trust first before the medicine must go down.  Before he starts challenging us on the areas in our life we need to care for and pay attention to.

The medicine never tastes good. In fact, at times it is down right awful and gag worthy.  But, it is essential for our spiritual growth, and will, I believe, invite us in on the journey of God’s most "delightful" plan for our lives if we allow him to make us well.

Be blessed! ~Christy